30 10 / 2011
I can’t go out because I have to (inspired by thefrenemy):
•Watch 72 hours of Harry Potter. Damn you ABC Family and your Harry Potter Weekends!
•Google cookie recipes.
•Pinterest. PINTEREST!
•Separate the 1,000 loads of laundry I need to do. Then stare at it, feel overwhelmed, and ignore it.
•Read old journals and think about how pathetic I was. Have a nervous breakdown over how pathetic I am.
•Watch the vlogbrothers and wish I was nicer to nerds in high school. Also, quietly pine away for John.
•Clean my house. Get frustrated because I don’t have a broom.
•Plan to buy a Shark Cordless Sweeper and one of those steamer things for hardwood slash tile floors.
•Start 64 new blog posts. Abandon them.
•Snuggle with my dog.
•Read The Song of Ice and Fire books. Feel weird about my attraction to Tyrion. Focus on lust for Jon Snow.
•Go to bed early so I get up in time to watch CBS Sunday Morning.
•WORDS WITH FRIENDS. Make a move! CHRIST.
•Drink this bottle of red wine. Out of a coffee mug. Watch out, Kate Middleton, there’s a new classy lady in town.
•Doodle. Imagine if I had actually pursued cartooning and animation as a career.
•Pick my nose. It’s my favorite.
•Make plans for the rest of the weekend. Really just lay on my couch and the realize it’s 5:00 already and feel overwhelming depression I didn’t for anything fun or productive with my weekend.
25 10 / 2011
Don't EVEN Get Me Started, Mythical Bootstraps College Student
I don’t know if I totally identify with the 99%, mainly because I have all but ignored 99% of the coverage surrounding them. That said, I hated this Facebook post when I first saw it, and I love this article that perfectly articulates why it sucks.
14 10 / 2011
HARRY POTTER WAS A HORCRUX?
THIS MOVIE IS BLOWING MY MIND RIGHT NOW. THERE IS MIND ON THE WALL BEHIND ME FROM IT GETTING BLOWN ALL OVER THE PLACE. I CAN’T BELIEVE I NEVER READ THESE BOOKS.
AND WHAT THE HELL, NEVILLE? YOU GOT MAD SEXY AND I KIND OF WANT TO TOUCH YOUR WAND.
WITH MY MOUTH.
26 9 / 2011
Puppy Sized Elephants will Ruin the Ecosystem
good news: animals are getting smaller - we’re like 1 generation away from puppy-sized elephants.
bad news: the world will probably end as a result
08 9 / 2011
Disney: This Is How You Make A Disney Movie Ten Times Better(via @Jezebel)
Done in the same vein as Honey Badger don’t care, “Bonjour, Girl!” is just a scene from Disney’s Beauty & The Beast with a sassy voiceover — and yet it is so much more than that.
30 8 / 2011
On The Word Slut
(or using it as a derogatory word for another girl)
I don’t get offended by a lot of words. Frankly, you could go up to my face and call me a slut and I’d just be like ‘no I’m not, I stay home mostly and watch Food Network and maybe you should call me a creepy shut-in instead.’ That shit rolls off my shoulders, and it never pushed me into a lecture and a rage every time I heard it thrown at another girl. However, the thing with the word ‘slut’ as an insult is a little more complicated then just a word. An ‘oh I’m drunk so I’m going to insinuate that this sister wears a lot of thong underwear and has sex in rooms that have toilets in them.’ And you don’t have to be an outspoken ‘zine feminist to see that it’s kind of a shitty word to use when you want to be cruel to somebody. It basically means that a girl has more sexual partners than is deemed ‘appropriate’ in non-caveman society, and it deems that her clothing choices make her appear to be a ‘sexual object.’ Sexual object of course-unless in Cosmopolitan magazine with a rose in your business skirt loins-is a bad thing. Which also kind of means that girls HAVE a limit in the kind of sex they can or want to be having. Which is fucking stupid, and it’s definitely backwards, and just because you or I don’t want to use our vaginas as much as somebody else doesn’t mean she’s going about it the wrong way. When you are intent on hurting somebody, and you call a girl a slut, you’re fucking yourself over. You’re putting your box in a box. You’re making a noose from pearls and wholesome American Betty Crocker baked goods. So stop it.
24 8 / 2011
"Rather than the 1990s being, as the demoralizing claim went, the “end of history,” it turned out to be more like a mix-tape pause of history between the fall of the Berlin Wall and 9/11, a kind of break from big convulsions while humankind mainly figured out how to work the Internet."
28 7 / 2011
The Frenemy.: What I'd (Rather) Do In My Bed Than Have Sex
truth.
- not have to worry about if there is hair on the back of my knees or my upper thighs or any place creepy
- not have to worry about ingrown hairs looking like diseased spider eggs about to crawl out of me
- think about having sex with an attractive celebrity
- think about having sex with some guy I…
